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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Philipp's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Thursday, November 12th, 2009
4:52 pm
ipod crisis
can anybody please help me transfer songs from my old ipod to my new one? please?
Tuesday, August 4th, 2009
2:35 am
My Father
I am writing this from the ICU. My father was struck by a car 12 hours ago. He is currently in intensive care for multiple serious injuries. Please pray for him and his successful recovery. Please pray that he doesn't develop pneumonia and comes out of this tragedy the same old, healthy, loving, strong-willed individual we all loved and cared about. Thank you for your prayers. -Philipp

Current Mood: distressed
Monday, August 11th, 2008
3:53 pm
it's been awhile
The Exchange


A dull, piercing blow awakens me from a dream.

This lovely oasis I have built to redeem
myself as a happy but powerless being.

Entrusting a stranger, angelically clean
from all that is flawed in this world yet pristine.

I've given my heart in exchange for her touch;
that physical joy that I love very much…

Fucking an angel and clipping her wings;
what did I intend by doing these things?

Current Mood: disappointed
Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008
9:27 pm
Please change this account's password.
Monday, March 10th, 2008
5:50 pm
My favorite pick-up lines =)
1) Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you got "fine" written all
over ya.
2) We voted you 'The Most Beautiful Girl Here' and the grand
prize is 'me'.
3) True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the
only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.
4) The body is made up of 90% water and I'm thirsty.
5) Are you a police officer? Because you're one of our town's
finest!
6) Make like a door knob and give me a turn.
7) Hi, do I come here often?
8) Wanna play fireman? We can stop, drop and roll.
9) Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day... I'm only asking
for one.
10) I don't know your name, but I'd really like to call you
mine.
11) Your body's an hourglass and I want to play in the sand.
12) Smile if you want me!
13) Would you like to seduce me?
14) I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on
earth tonight.
15) I need someone really bad... Are you really bad?
16) You have been very naughty! Go to my room!
17) I'm no good at opening lines so why don't we pretend we know
each other.
18) Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted
to give you notice that I noticed you too.
19) You dropped your smile; can I pick it up for you?
20) Did you drop something? 'Cause you sure look like you're
picking up!
21) So what time do I wake you up in the morning?
22) Do you have a library card? Good, cause I wanna check you
out!
23) See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm
cute.
24) Are you a cleptomaniac, or did you steal my heart on
purpose?

Current Mood: accomplished
Monday, April 30th, 2007
10:23 am
До Эрмитажа из Денвера
Чтобы добраться до Эрмитажа из Денвера, сядьте на велосипед и поете в Нью-Йорк. Ни забудьте с собой взять ваш черный пистолет и коробку патронов. На пути, вы можете останавливаться на бензоколонках и грабить их, потому что вам нужны будут деньги на международный круиз. В Нью-Йорке, купите билет на корабль и хорошо отдохните на вашем пути в Санкт Петербург. Сразу, после того как доплывете до Питера, найдите машину с водителям. Вам в этом поможет ваш черный пистолет. Прикажите вашему заложнику довести вас до Эрмитажа. Поблагодарите вашу жертву, и предложите заплатить за их вход.
Monday, April 23rd, 2007
10:39 am
Complete English translation of МОЙДОДЫР
Oh, the blanket
Has run off,
And the bed sheet flew away,
And the pillow,
Like a frog,
Leaped away from me.

As I try to grab the candle,
It just jumps into the boiler!
As I try to get the book,
It just jolts under the cradle!

I would like to drink some tea,
I approach the samovar,
But that little potbelly
Ran from me as from a fire.

Oh, my goodness, Jesus Christ,
What is going on?
Why is everything around me
Spinning,
Whirling,
Speeding like a wheel?

All the boots
Before the irons,
All the pies
Before the boots
And the pies
Behind the irons
While the poker’s
Behind the sash –
Everything is spinning,
And revolving,
And is tumbling around.

Suddenly from momma’s bedroom,
Limping and bowlegged,
The washbasin runs out
And it shakes its head:

Oh you filthy, oh you dirty,
Unclean little piggy!
You are blacker than a chimney-sweeper,
Take a good look at yourself:
There’s a blacking on your neck,
There’s a blotch under your nose,
And your hands are such a mess,
That you have lost even your pants,
Oh, your pants! Oh, your pants!
You have lost even your pants.

Early in the morning dawn
Little micies wash their faces,
So do kittens, so do ducklings,
So do beetles, so do spiders.

You’re the one who didn’t wash
And a dirtling you remain,
And your boots and stockings fled
From your little dirtling self.

I am Washbasin the Great,
I’m the famous Washtoholes,
I’m the leader of all washbasins
And commander of the sponges!

If I come to stomp my foot,
Calling out for all my soldiers,
All the washbasins would fly in
And would crowd this little room.
They’d start barking, and start howling,
And start stomping all their feet,
And would give a good head cleaning,
To you, unclean little one -
Into Moika,
Into Moika,
Headfirst they would dip you in!”

He had hit the copper basin
And proclaimed: “Kara-baras!”

At that moment brushes, brushes
Spluttered like a clapper,
And start rubbing me
While saying:

“Washing, washing the chimney-sweeper
Cleaner, cleaner, cleaner, cleaner!
Chimney-sweeper will be, will be
Clean, clean, clean, clean!

Now the soap has jumped right up
And had clutched on to my hair,
Started wriggling, and lathering,
And stinging, like a wasp.

I darted from the ravenous sponge
As if running from a stick,
But she followed, followed me,
Down the Sadovoi, down Sennoi.

I ran to the Tavric Garden,
And had jumped over the fence,
But she’s speeding right behind me
And is biting, like a she-wolf.

Suddenly, coming towards me,
Is my good old, favorite Crocodile.
He was walking down the alley
With Totoshka and Kokoshka.

And the sponge, as if a jackdaw,
He had swallowed like a jackdaw.

And then he started growling
At me,
Started stomping his feet
At me:
“You had better go on home,
He said,
And had better wash your face,
He said,
If you don’t I’ll swoop you down,
He said,
I will trample you and swallow you!”
He said.

And I started running down the street,
I came running back to Washbasin, again.

Soaping, Soaping,
Soaping, Soaping
I kept washing without end,
Washed off all the blackings
And the ink
From my unwashed face

And so now the trousers, trousers
Had jumped back into my hands.
And the pies had followed them:
“Won’t you eat me, my dear pal!”

And right after came the sandwich:
Jumping right into my mouth!

Now the book had turned around,
And the notebook had returned,
And at once the grammar started
Dancing with the arithmetic.

And now Washbasin the Great,
The famous Washtoholes,
Leader of all the washbasins
And commander of the sponges,
Ran up to me dancing,
And had said while kissing me:

“Now I love you,
Now I praise you!
Finally, you dirtling,
Washtoholes is pleased!”

Surely, surely you should wash
Every morning and every evening,

As for unclean
Chimney-sweepers –
Shame for shame!
Shame for shame!

All hale the fragrant soap,
And the fluffy towel,
And the tooth paste,
And the thick comb!

Let us all wash, and splash,
Swim, dive, and roll
In the tub, in the washtub, in the trough,
In the river, in the stream, in the ocean, -

In the bathtub, in the bathhouse,
Always and everywhere –
Eternal glory to water!
Monday, April 9th, 2007
10:30 am
Лос Анджелес
Если вы любите загорать на пляже под солнцем, посещать огромные музеи и театры, ходить по дискотекам и стрип-клубам, знакомится с новыми, красивыми людьми, и баловаться с помощью алкоголя и наркотиков, тогда город Лос Анджелес для вас!

Для любителей океана и пляжа есть сотни разных публичных и частных пляжей. Есть даже пляжи для нудистов, которые я лично обожаю! Можно выбирать из тысячей разных тур-походов в океан для наблюдения за морскими животными.

Для любителей ночной жизни, в Лос Анджелесе есть больше баров, дискотек, и ночных клубов чем в хоть коком другом городе мира! Для любителей женской красоты, я рекомендую «Стар Стрип». Пойдите и наслаждайтесь! А если вы любите танцы и концерты, попробуйте Санта Моника Пирс.

Если вы предпочитаете активный отдых, вокруг Лос Анджелеса гор и возвышений где можно путешествовать пешком и поездить на велосипеде. В Лос Анджелеских горках находятся много гостинец, которые предлагают разные развлечения. Самые популярные являются: теплые, натуральные минеральные воды, лошадиные поездки и походы, и сказочные войны с красочным, духовым оружьем.

Кто бы ни хотел провести свой отпуск в городе, где все есть!
Monday, April 2nd, 2007
10:36 am
Translation of “МОЙДОДЫР” - continued
And the pies had followed them:
“Won’t you eat me, my dear pal!”

And right after came the sandwich:
Jumping right into my mouth!

Now the book had turned around,
And the notebook had returned,
And at once the grammar started
Dancing with the arithmetic.

And now Washbasin the Great,
The famous Washtoholes,
Leader of all the washbasins
And commander of the sponges,
Ran up to me dancing,
And had said while kissing me:

“Now I love you,
Now I praise you!
Finally, you dirtling,
Washtoholes is pleased!”

Surely, surely you should wash
Every morning and every evening,

As for unclean
Chimney-sweepers –
Shame for shame!
Shame for shame!

All hale the fragrant soap,
And the fluffy towel,
And the tooth paste,
And the thick comb!

Let us all wash, and splash,
Swim, dive, and roll
In the tub, in the washtub, in the trough,
In the river, in the stream, in the ocean, -

In the bathtub, in the bathhouse,
Always and everywhere –
Eternal glory to water!
Monday, March 19th, 2007
10:51 am
Translation of “МОЙДОДЫР” - continued
Now the soup has jumped right up
And had clutched on to my hair,
Started wriggling, and lathering,
And stinging, like a wasp.

I darted from the ravenous sponge
As if running from a stick,
But she followed, followed me,
Down the Sadovoi, down Sennoi.

I ran to the Tavric Garden,
And had jumped over the fence,
But she’s speeding right behind me
And is biting, like a she-wolf.

Suddenly, coming towards me,
Is my good old, favorite Crocodile.
He was walking down the alley
With Totoshka and Kokoshka.

And the sponge, as if a jackdaw,
He had swallowed like a jackdaw.

And then he started growling
At me,
Started stomping his feet
At me:
“You had better go on home,
He said,
And had better wash your face,
He said,
If you don’t I’ll swoop you down,
He said,
I will trample you and swallow you!”
He said.

And I started running down the street,
I came running back to Washbasin, again.

Soaping, Soaping,
Soaping, Soaping
I kept washing without end,
Washed off all the blackings
And the ink
From my unwashed face

And so now the trousers, trousers
Had jumped back into my hands.
Friday, March 16th, 2007
10:05 am
С Днем Рождения, Брендан!
Я желаю тебе достичь самых больших высот на своем велосипеде. Это не значит, что я хочу твоей смерти; я не говорю о рае. Я желаю тебе новых, классных трюков без аварий и без сломанных костей!
Monday, March 12th, 2007
10:23 am
Интересное Путешествие =)
В прошлые каникулы моя девушка Эмми прилетела в Колорадо на несколько дней, чтобы навестить свою сестру в Авроре. Мы вместе с ней и с нашими родителями отметили Американское Рождество. На следующий день мы вместе полетели в город Даллас, штат Техас, навестить ее бабушку и деда. Мы жили на настоящем Техасском ранче и катались на лошадках как Буш!

31-ого Декабря мы с Эмми поехали в очень большой «андерграунд» клуб в деловом центре Далласа, чтобы отметить Новый Год, и присоединились там к группе сумасшедших и богатых панкеров, которые заставили каждого из нас выпить целую бутылку шампанского Моэт и Чандон. Отметившие Новый Год, мы как-то доехали до ранча и, войдя в дом, сразу занялись, как говорят, «делом». =)

Current Mood: amused
Monday, March 5th, 2007
10:14 am
Образованные Люди
Образованный человек должен уметь читать уровне бакалавра.
Образованный человек должен знать хотя бы два языка.
Образованный человек должен иметь университетскую степень по математике.
Образованный человек должен иметь хорошее чувство юмора.
Образованный человек должен уметь внимательно слушать собеседников.
Образованный человек должен быть открытым к точке зрения других.
Образованный человек должен знать свои силы и слабости.
Образованный человек должен знать, как помочь людям.
Образованный человек должен знать, что такое любить и потерять.
Образованный человек должен уметь играть в шахматы.
Monday, February 26th, 2007
10:47 am
МОЙДОДЫР - продолжение
You are blacker than a chimney-sweeper,
Take a good look at yourself:
There’s a blacking on your neck,
There’s a blotch under your nose,
And your hands are such a mess,
That you have lost even your pants,
Oh, your pants! Oh, your pants!
You have lost even your pants.

Early in the morning dawn
Little micies wash their faces,
So do kittens, so do ducklings,
So do beetles, so do spiders.

You’re the one who didn’t wash
And a dirtling you remain,
And your boots and stockings fled
From your little dirtling self.

I am Washbasin the Great,
I’m the famous Washtoholes,
I’m the leader of all washbasins
And commander of the sponges!

If I come to stomp my foot,
Calling out for all my soldiers,
All the washbasins would fly in
And would crowd this little room.
They’d start barking, and start howling,
And start stomping all their feet,
And would give a good head cleaning,
To you, unclean little one -
Into Moika,
Into Moika,
Headfirst they would dip you in!”

He had hit the copper basin
And proclaimed: “Kara-baras!”

At that moment brushes, brushes
Spluttered like a clapper,
And start rubbing me
While saying:

“Washing, washing the chimney-sweeper
Cleaner, cleaner, cleaner, cleaner!
Chimney-sweeper will be, will be
Clean, clean, clean, clean!
Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
5:33 pm
Лев Бакст
www.compuart.ru/Archive/CA/2005/1/14/
www.silverage.ru/paint/bakst/bakst_rab.html
afield.org.ua/fashion/fashion25_1.html
ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/Бакст,_Лев_Самойлович
Monday, February 19th, 2007
10:26 am
Десять Вопросов Ольге Пихиенко
1) Кем вы мечтали стать, перед тем как начали заниматься гимнастикой?
2) Кто ваш любимый клоун?
3) Вы когда-нибудь влюблялись?
4) Как отличаются работники цирка от нормальных мужчин?
5) Почему вы решили уйти из цирка?
6) Сколько было вам лет, когда вы приехали в Северную Америку?
7) Вы замужем?
8) Какие качества вы ищете в партнере?
9) У вас есть MySpace?
10) Что вы любите делать в свободное время?
Wednesday, February 14th, 2007
10:48 am
И день холоден, и мир застыл.
Струя мороза внутрь проникает.
А он лежит на поле – быть, как был,
Снежинки беленькие вдыхает.

Лежащий, неподвижно, он смотрел
Как кружится хрустальная дымина.
Не верил, что дойти он не успел,
И что взяла его проклятая лавина.

-только начало-

© Philipp Ponomarev
Monday, February 12th, 2007
8:41 am
Анализ Юнга
Анализ Юнга

Extraverted: 11%
Sensing: 1%
Feeling: 50%
Judging: 11%

По мнению Юнга, я очень чувствительный человек. Почему же тогда его тест утверждает, что я Экстраверт а не Интраверт? Я с удовольствием читал анализы Керсея и Батта! Мне бы хотелось так высоко думать о себе. Но, к сожалению, я не считаю себя героем. Они правы что я принципиальный человек, и что я люблю помогать близким, но это можно сказать о каждом нормальном человеке. Я представляю здесь анализы Керсея и Батта на английском. Попытаюсь перевести через несколько дней.

You are:
slightly expressed extrovert
slightly expressed sensing personality
moderately expressed feeling personality
slightly expressed judging personality

Provider Guardians take it upon themselves to arrange for the health and welfare of those in their care, but they are also the most sociable of all the Guardians, and thus are the great nurturers of established institutions such as schools, businesses, churches, social clubs, and civic groups. Wherever they go, Providers take up the role of social contributor, happily giving their time and energy to make sure that the needs of others are met, that traditions are supported and developed, and that social functions are a success.
Providers are very likely more than ten percent of the population, and this is very fortunate for the rest of us, because friendly social service is a key to their nature. Highly cooperative themselves, Providers are skilled in maintaining teamwork among their helpers, and are also tireless in their attention to the details of furnishing goods and services. They make excellent chairpersons in charge of social events. They are without peer as masters of ceremonies, able to approach others with ease and confidence, and seemingly aware of what everyone's been doing. And they are outstanding hosts or hostesses, able to remember people's names, usually after one introduction, and always concerned about the needs of their guests, wanting to insure that all are involved and provided for.
Providers are extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, which makes them perhaps the most sympathetic of all the types, but which also leaves them rather self-conscious, that is, highly sensitive to what others think of them. Because of this Providers can be crushed by personal criticism, and will work most effectively when given ample appreciation both for themselves personally and for the service they give to others. This is not to say that Providers are afraid to express their own emotional reactions. They are quick to like and dislike-and don't mind saying so-tending to put on a pedestal whatever or whoever they admire, and to come down hard on those people and issues they don't care for.
In their choice of careers, Providers may lean toward sales and service occupations. They have such pleasant, outgoing personalities that they are far and away the best sales reps, not only regularly winning sales contests, but earning seniority in any sales group within an organization. Observing Providers at work in a sales transaction reveals clearly how this type personalizes the sale. They are visibly-and honestly-concerned with their customer's welfare, and thus the customer is not simply buying the product, but is buying personally from the Provider. This same characteristic causes them to be good in many people-to-people jobs, as teachers, clergy, coaches, social workers, office receptionists, and so on. Providers seldom become a source of irritation in the workplace; on the contrary, they are unflagging in their devotion to their company, and show such personal loyalty to their immediate superiors that they make invaluable personal secretaries.
President and Chief Supreme Court Justice Willam Howard Taft <http://keirsey.com/taft.html> is an example of a Provider Guardian.
Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging
by Joe Butt
Profile: ESFJ
Revision: 3.0
Date of Revision: 23 Feb 2005

Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.
All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ESFJs, as do most SJs, bear strong allegiance to rights of seniority. They willingly provide service (which embodies life's meaning) and expect the same from others.
ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves," often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls. Some ESFJs channel these vibrant emotions into moving dramatic performances on stage and screen.
Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner!
An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight. When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord. The contender pits self against self, once firmly deciding with the Right, then switching to Prudence to forestall hostilities, countered by unswerving Values, ad exhaustium, winner take all.
As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around--germs within, the elements without, unscrupulous malefactors, insidious character flaws. The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted. Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; 'hyper-vigilant' would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education.
Functional Analysis: <./fa.html>
Extraverted Feeling
ESFJs live in their Extraverted Feeling functioning. Feeling, a rational (i.e., deciding) function, expresses opinions easily in the E world of objects and people. ESFJs have the ability to express warmth, rage, and a range of other emotions. Actions are encouraged or rebuked based on how they affect other people, especially people near and dear to the ESFJ. This type's vocal decisiveness predisposes many of its number to facility with administration and supervision.
Introverted Sensing
The secondary Sensing function aids and abets the dominant Fe in that sensate data is collected and at once compared with the inner forms or standards. Data on which decisions are made are thus focused and given a contrast which tends to be stronger and clearer than the original stimuli. The strengthening effect of Si on Fe may be responsible for this type's reputation for wearing their "hearts on their sleeves." At any rate, ESFJs reflect the "black and white" view of reality which is common to the SJ types.
Extraverted iNtuition
Intuition is tertiary--as the ESFJ matures, and as situations arise which call for suspension of criticism, Ne is allowed to play. Under the leadership of the Fe function, iNtuition allows for a loosening of the more rigid Si rights and wrongs; teasing and slapstick humor emerge. ESFJs are also capable of discerning patterns and philosophies, but such perceiving is subject to the weakness of the tertiary position, and the results often lack the variety and complexity of connections that more complex systems require.
Introverted Thinking
The inferior Ti function may rarely be expressed. In fact, ESFJs may take affront at the aloof, detached nature of dominant Ti types, or conversely, be drawn to them. Some ESFJs construct rationale which have the appearance of (Jungian) Thinking logic, but under scrutiny are in fact command performances of "Thinking in the service of Feeling," (i.e., Thinking-like conclusions which do not obey the tenets of impersonal logic; they rather construct scenarios from only those "hard, cold facts" which support the conclusion reached by the dominant Extraverted Feeling function. To wit:
You don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat
with knitting needles.
-- Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food
Famous ESFJs:
U.S. Presidents:
William McKinley
William J. Clinton
Jack Benny
Desi Arnaz ("Ricky Ricardo")
Don Knotts ("Barney Fife")
John Connally (former Governor of Texas)
Terry Bradshaw, NFL quarterback
Sally Struthers (All in the Family)
Mary Tyler Moore
Dixie Carter (Designing Women)
Steve Spurrier, Heismann trophy winner, Univ. of Fla. football coach
Sally Field
Danny Glover, actor (Lethal Weapon movies, Predator 2 Margaret Butt
Nancy Kerrigan (U.S. olympic figureskater)
Elvis Stojko (Canadian olympic figureskater)
Fictional ESFJs:
Babbitt (Sinclair Lewis)
Hoss Cartwright (Bonanza)
Leonard "Bones" McCoy (Star Trek)
Monica (Friends)
Haleh (ER)
Donald Duck
Rabbit, Winnie the Pooh
Sunday, February 11th, 2007
2:10 pm
You Are 48% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul.

You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.
Saturday, February 10th, 2007
2:28 am
A Conversation With God
Your eyes are locked and look above
At the ceiling as you lie.
You’re waiting for the one you love
As you slowly die.

You cannot seem to understand
The presence of your mind,
And those people standing by your bed
So sad and teary-eyed.

You find your senses keen and sharp
But you cannot move.
There’s something gentle on your hand
Mysteriously smooth.

You feel the warmth of her caress
And wish you could touch back.
The body you had once possessed
Is unmovable and stuck.

All attempts at speaking words
Keep dying as you try.
You try to hurt to show you care
But find you cannot cry.

If only you could talk to her
And look her in her eyes,
Your words would sing her heart to sleep
As you say goodbye.

Her touch is fading, so is your heart
The lights are dimming too,
You reach out for the light above
As the black envelopes you.

An instinct surges you ahead
From that darkened room.
Your claustrophobic panic rages
As it leads you to your doom.

You know it guides you to your death
So you scream with all you've got.
You beg your God to release his grasp
And give you one more shot.

“But it’s your time” God says to you,
"Don’t be afraid my son.
I cannot let you live forever,
There’s so much you have done.”

“Accept your human fate, and sleep,
And give your soul to me.
I made your soul, gave you a chance
To live for me, you see.”

“But you betrayed me with someone,
You thought I’d let you free?
I am the ruler of everything,
All that you see is mine, indeed.”

"You thought you could escape
And live forever just like me?
Oh, no! You were mistaken
And foolish to think you'd be set free."

"Sure, I created love,
But love for me is first!
I won't accept a rivalry,
Such blasphemy's the worst."

You're petrified of the words you hear,
How can all this be true?
How could this God be vengeful thus?
You really had no clue.

But suddenly the pieces fit
And everything's revealed.
All of the horrors of this world
So masterfully concealed.

And everyone is doomed like you
To die and not survive.
You knew it all your precious life
That no one leaves alive.

And then you muster all your strength,
And ask almighty God:
"How can you be so narcissistic,
So ruthless, fucking God?"

"Why do you need me, oh so much?
Is not my love free will?
I do admit I loved her so,
Much more than you I love her still."

"You'll never take my soul,
You see, it is my own possession.
I choose to live forever free from you,
And love her with a passion."

"I'll never let you have my love,
My life or dignity.
I will remain the same forever
And fight you endlessly."

"You may be all knowing and all powerful,
And I should fear you most,
But I don't fear a goddamn thing,
Nor you, nor what it costs."

"Release me from your forsaken grasp,
And I'll return to her.
I do not care who you think you are,
For me you're nothing more."

"I'll fight forever, what will you do?
Completely erase me?"
Oh, no! No! I existed and will exist.
I will rage on you see."

"If only you don't send me back to her,
I will become like you.
I will destroy mankind to spite you.
Oh, I can be vengeful too!"

Your fury's rageful cry is heard
From depths of infinity.
You run from crashing walls of flames
Engulfing serenity.

All of the peace the heavens knew
Wiped out and leveled to the ground.
A path revealed in your new world,
So quiet there's no sound.

You keep on running towards your room
To jump back in your life.
The heavens fused with hell and earth,
You have created life.

You feel the air flow to your lungs,
And blood engulf your veins.
The twitching cracks your once dead joints,
Releasing all the chains.

All of your body burns with fire
As you release a breath.
You're born into this world again,
But this time with the truth.

Sensations scurry back to you,
You feel that perfect being.
Her tear-soaked cheek rests on your hand,
She never stopped believing.

You have returned to her from hell,
A heaven's been destroyed.
You are now free to be forever,
Your love can't be destroyed.


© Philipp Ponomarev

Current Mood: accomplished
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